I have often been asked by members and others about the propriety of couples living together without being married. So I thought I would share our church's view on this as taken from God's Holy Word and His view of this arrangement.
What's Wrong with Living Together Before Marriage?
Living in a self-centered, pleasure-oriented society, it becomes increasingly more difficult for a young Christian couple to uphold the true, Biblical standards of righteousness and morality in our land. The frequency of couples living together today apart from the marriage bond is alarming, and the flippancy of their attitude to do so is even more frightening. "Well, what's wrong with living together before marriage anyway?" they ask. "It's our life!"
Since you asked an honest question, let us look at the answer on the basis of God's inspired Word.
- God calls it sin. Fornication is defined as "sexual intercourse between unmarried persons." There are many specific Bible passages which soundly condemn fornication as immoral. (See 1 Corinthians 6:9, Ephesians 5:3, Hebrews 13:4.)
- The proper place of sex in God's good design of marriage is to consummate the marriage bond and thereafter to serve as a means of conceiving children and enjoying marital intimacy. Any deviation from this model is a violation of God's law with serious consequence.
- Christians call Christ their Master. They submit to Him as Lord. Therefore, they do not and can not do exactly as they please. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
- Sex without the binding commitment of marriage cheapens both the sanctity of sex and the sacredness of marriage. It also cheapens oneself and the other person involved. Love without commitment is not really love at all, but rather lust.
- All violations of God's standards of morality carry consequences with them. Some of the many consequences of the sin of fornication are misplaced trust, unplanned pregnancy, "forced" marriages, venereal disease, and difficulty in adjusting within marriage with the greater risk of eventual divorce. In addition, there is the negative Christian witness which this lifestyle presents to the world.
God's standard is clear, and it is still best. "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous" (Hebrews 13:4).
Have you fallen into the trap of sexual intimacy before marriage? If so, don't despair, for there is still hope. Jesus Christ died to save sinners and forgive them of sins against the Sixth Commandment, as well as all others.
So recognize your sin in the light of God's Word. Repent of it and confess your wrongdoing to God. Be assured, that when you confess your sin to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive you your sin and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Seek the Lord and His strength to live a sanctified life, dedicated to a loving Lord. There's no life more glorious!
The sin being committed in premarital sex is the breaking of the 6th Commandment. In my opinion in most cases the man is getting what he wants when there is no true commitment to the woman. It truly saddens me to see in the majority of cases men who will say and do anything, EXCEPT GET MARRIED, just to have sex with female members of our congregation. She is being taken for a ride that often times ends very sadly. If you would like to talk to me about this, please call.
